Letter to my Love
by Nireths
Summary: Meiling's letter to Syaoran, telling her how she fells...it's sad actually...along with letters from the others..
1. Meiling's Letter

** Letter to my love **

** by Nireths **

Dear Syaoran, my dear cousin, my first and only love, 

     Every day I wondered how to say this, but I find it impossible, so I just decided to write you this letter, I guess I'm too coward to say it in person. When the elders send me to help you catch the Clow Cards I was so happy, I couldn't wait to be with you once again. I was there for you and with you, no matter what you said, I knew that you said those bad things as a cover for the real you, I know. Because I know you, we grew up together, I know everything about you, I first knew I loved you when you brought back my bird, remember, you went in the rain to get it for me. I will never forget that. I'm sorry if this paper is a little wet, I can't help but cry right now. 

     I was with you in anything that you wanted, Sakura who was first our rival doesn't know you like I know you. I was your fiancee too, we were to marry, but, they canceled it, they let you free. It's not fair, I thought that if we would have been married we would have been happy, but then again, you never liked me like I liked you, isn't that right??.. 

     Day by day, Sakura would be nice to you until you started to be nice to her. You started saving her more often, so she wouldn't get hurt. She would smile at you and you would blush, I was jealous but you never noticed it, no one but Tomoyo did I guess. But still I lingered by your side, every time you two got together I would get in the middle, bothering both of you. All that so you would stay away from her and notice me, but you never did. I was a mere shadow for you, your shadow, because I was always behind you and behind Sakura too I realize now. 

     No matter how much I try to be happy for you and Sakura, I just can't. You were supposed to be with me, we could have been happy together, or at least I would have been, I guess I'm being inconsiderate. For so many years I had to retain myself to not hurt her, but I guess I was too weak, I'm sorry for what I have done, I hope she gets better. I'm sorry Syaoran, I didn't mean for any of this to happen, really, but I just loved you so much that I can't live without you. I heard Sakura was taken to the hospital this morning, I bet you are with her right now. My sight is getting blurry from all this crying, so I'll try to wrap this up soon. 

     I hope you can forgive me for what I have done and for I'm about to do Syaoran. Maybe one day, I do want you to know that I will always love you. And those so called accident against Sakura that she has been saved by you are my fault too. Ever since you two started to get affecting by each other I've been responsible for all those bad moments that actually got you together even more. I curse myself at being so weak and stupid as not realizing I was putting both of you together a lot more than you actually were. I witnessed your first kiss and I was there in all of your dates. I started to hate Sakura so much as to plot to kill her, which was a half success. I knew that if she died, I would get a chance at being with you, but I didn't count on being haunted by these thought. She hasn't died I know, I didn't finish my plan, I think she'll live, but then again, I'm comparing myself to her, I would survive, but Sakura is different. I also knew that if I were to kill her, I would kill part of you too. My stomach is tarting to hurt, my sight is getting blurry too, but it's not because I'm crying. You'll find out when you get home. 

     Once, I kissed you, you were in your room, and I kissed you, it felt so nice. But you pushed me away, confused, sleepy, angry. I know you told Sakura, I heard you say it. She comprehends you, if I were in her place, I wouldn't have reacted in the same way, I never do. Even when I show I'm fine, I'm actually burning with hate and jealousy. You know, when you chose to go back home and face the consequences of not bringing the Clow Cards wit you, I whined that should have taken them. But you didn't you chose her and accepted to het punished instead of getting the cards even if it was by force and bring them home. Ohh Syaoran, you don't know how much I wished that you had never met Sakura. Even now, when I'm feeling the same way she is feeling, I hate her, I HATE HER, who am I kidding. I'm lying to myself again, she was always nice to me, she considered me a friend since the beginning, even when I thought her as a simple rival. We became friends, at least on the outside, she became my number 1 rival. I don't get it Syaoran, I'm prettier than her, more skillful, smarter, I'm more than her. Did you just fall in love with her because she had magic???, think about it... I don't blame neither of you for this. I guess you two were meant to be together, I tried to accept that, but destiny is so unfair. 

     I'm burning up Syaoran, the same thing that Sakura felt a while ago, I poisoned her with an old recipe, of course I have the antidote, right here next to me. I don't know if I should take it or not. I took double what I gave to Sakura, it actually tasted good, like apple juice or something similar. Wei is knocking on my door, he can probably hear my agony, but I don't care. Only you can save me now Syaoran, only you, if you give me the antidote on time, only you..... 

Your cousin and secret lover, Meiling.... 

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Short letter by Meiling, it turned out boring.....ok...I'll go back to Rejected in Life Now...that one is much better.... "'^_^'".....but please do review...


	2. Syaoran's Letter

** Letter 2 - Syaoran**

Dear.., 

     I don't know why I'm writing this, I guess it makes me feel better. I've been here all day at the hospital, ever since Sakura got sick. I can feel her pink aura getting weaker by the minute and still I don't know what to do. How could something like this happen, I don't get it, it must have been some kind of poison, but who would want my dear Sakura dead?. She's always nice to everyone, I don't even think she has any enemies, at least not anymore. The strange part is that I was with her all day, I feel like crying but can't, no tears will come out. The doctors don't know what's wrong, but they know she's dying. No, I must think that, she can't, she can't die, she can't leave me here all alone, I wouldn't resist it. I can't live without my Sakura. Why did this have to happen now??, we are only 17, it's just so unfair. After everything we went through, I can't just sit here and do nothing. I kills me knowing that I'm useless, magic isn't working to help you, I think, it actually was making Sakura worst. I'm sorry Sakura, I didn't know that it would react this way, I'm so sorry, I wish I were in your place. 

     Sakura's family is outside, Touya had a flight back when he heard the news. Tomoyo was here a while ago, she was also very devastated, they are best friends after all. And even with how she is feeling, she tried to make me feel better, I admire her sometimes, but all I want is to be in Sakura's place. I wish to die instead of her!!!. 

     Why isn't she getting better??, I..I.., I don't know what to do, I'm so useless, not even Yue or Kero know what happened to her. No one know, the only person missing today at the hospital is Meiling, I wonder if she has heard the news. My dear Sakura, I hold your right hand with my left, you feel cold and I can feel your pain. Why?, who?, I would like to know, and they'll pay for what they have done. I'm losing it, I'm losing control, Sakura please just open your emerald eyes, tell me that everything will be fine, or else, I...I don't know what I'm capable of doing........... 

     Wei just called me, he is bringing Meiling to the hopital, she is sick was well. She is burning up from inside, the same symptoms my Sakura has. Who is trying to ruin my life?, why?, first my beloved Sakura, then my cousin. Wei said something about a letter, but I wasn't paying much attention. He'll be here in less than 10 minutes, why couldn't I have been the one that was dying??..

Life is just not fair..............

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Second letter....Syaoran writing to himself I guess, very short!.... a few more letters to come soon.....plz review........


	3. Tomoyo's Letter

** Letter 3 - Tomoyo **

Dear God, 

     Why must we suffer like this?, what have we done to deserve this?...I don't understand how this could happen. I'm the hospital's lobby, waiting, everyone but Meiling is here. Syaoran must be the one feeling the most pain, even more than me that I am Sakura's best friend. The doctors were of no use, they don't know what's wrong with her, but I know they told Mr. Kinomoto that she could die any minute. Syaoran hasn't left Sakura's side since we got here. I overheard Syaoran saying the he wanted to trade places with Sakura, but I believe it would be almost the same thing. Sakura would be devastated instead of Syaoran. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I just...can't believe my Sakura is dying. Why her?, she is the nicest person I know. And how could this happen?, we were always with her, specially Syaoran. 

     We are all so worried, I just want our Sakura to be ok, I would give my life for her, if she dies we are all gonna be sad. Syaoran won't have a reason to live of course, I know, he wants to die right now, as I write this. Please God, don't take our Sakura from us!!....I beg you let Sakura live until old. She hasn't done harm to anyone, she isn't capable of even follow revenge. 

     I don't want to think what life will be like without her, it's just to sad. Who would have the heart to harm Sakura and all of us this way?. I don't understand it, none of us know, we know it's not magic based, but the doctors don't know what it is either. This can't be happening, this has to be a horrible nightmare that I must wake from any moment. I can't stop crying, Eriol is getting worried for me. I just want to wake up, make everything got the way it was before this. I don't know what to do, I just can't believe this is real, it can't be, my mind and heart can't swallow this news, it so hard to understand why good people have to suffer, while bad people live happy. It doesn't always apply but that's what is happening right now. 

     What's this, I just saw Wei came in, he was following the doctors with a new patient, wait, is that?, no it can't be, Meiling??. Was she poisoned too??, what's going on?. Who is behind this?. I have to many questions, I'm becoming hysterical. I God, please make it stop, make this all go away. I'm slipping down to the floor. I can see Eriol running to me..I can't keep wrtting any longer....God help us...... 

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Tomoyo's letter to God, weird, anyways, how was it?, the letter too short?....ok...still plz review... 


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